Disney Consumes LucasFilms, Episode VII Gets Cast - By Richard Briggs

Richard Briggs contributes to The Skewed Review.

Tweet

THE SKEWED REVIEW | ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

The news that Disney had purchased Lucasfilm from George Lucas was alarming to so many people, including Mark Hamill (the original Luke Skywalker).

            

And Disney didn’t even tease us. “Star Wars Episode VII” is going to happen.

            

So much continual speculation will happen between now and May 2015, but I’d still like to add in my own speculation and desires for the new trilogy. After all, I’ve been watching the movies, playing the video games and reading the books since I was a kid, so this universe is special to me as well.

            

The immediate speculation is in regard to the movie’s plot and which characters will take part. There are the Big Four characters who are the only ones that really matter when it comes to the casting: Han Solo, Princess Leia, Lando Calrissian and, of course, Luke Skywalker.

            

I have the storyline in mind that I hope they go with (though it’s unlikely the writers will choose the one I’m thinking), but the casting of these four characters matters a little bit more. I went in-depth with two friends on the potential actors, and after our deliberations here is my fantasy cast: 

            

Han Solo: Gerard Butler

ipernity.com

Wikimedia Commons

The majority of the film’s popularity will hinge on the choice of which actor will play Han Solo. Without a doubt Han is the most popular character from the original trilogy, and having to fill Harrison Ford’s shoes will be a daunting task.

            

I scurried through American actors who could play this role with one friend, and we came up with Bradley Cooper and Ryan Reynolds, both risky picks. But then I thought, what actor embodies a lot of what Harrison Ford was during the Han Solo and Indiana Jones days? That’s when I went to Sam Worthington from “Clash of the Titans.” Then another friend said, “If we’re going to go with a non-American, Gerard Butler has more panache than Sam Worthington.”

            

Indeed he’s right about that.

            

Butler has the swagger and comedic timing to be Han Solo. He kind of already looks like a scruffy-looking nerfherder.

Princess Leia: Maggie Gyllenhaal

            

Michael Connors
Wikimedia Commons

As I was surfing the Internet to hear more buzz and see others’ ideas for casting (most of which are not realistic casts and copy “The Avengers” cast) I saw that I wasn’t alone in this idea. It made me feel like my choice was credible to bring in the Rachel Dawes of “The Dark Knight.”

            

All of my friends did not like Gyllenhaal as the replacement for Katie Holmes in “The Dark Knight,” and sometimes maybe I didn’t either. Perhaps it’s because Gyllenhaal just isn’t as hot as Holmes.

            

Because of that I think we sometimes forget that Gyllenhaal’s Rachel Dawes was much more authoritative and believable as a lawyer than Holmes’ Rachel Dawes.

            

Gyllenhaal has the look and personality to fit Princess Leia perfectly. She’s courageous, attractive (not jaw-dropping hot), and I can see her wearing Leia’s hair style from “Empire Strikes Back.” That movie is where you actually see Leia commanding troops, so that’s the hairstyle I envision Leia wearing when establishing the New Republic in episodes VII, VIII and IX.

         

Lando Calrissian: Donald Faison

            

lukeford.net
Wikimedia Commons

I probably got a little ridiculous with this pick, but after hearing Faison say on “Late Night with Jimmy Fallon” that his dream role would be to play Lando Calrissian in a “Star Wars” origin story, I had to make the pick. Plus, how can this clip from “Scrubs” not make convince you? 

            

Faison will have to “be smooth,” but to see him playing his dream role of Lando Calrissian would make me happy. I know he would love the role so much that he would dive into it and be Lando.

            

Luke Skywalker: Leonardo DiCaprio

            

Colin Chou
Wikimedia Commons

I took a lot of heat from my friends for this pick, but I feel like there’s something here. It’s a role that’s totally different than anything Leo has done before, and the risk is that all anyone will see is the guy from “Titanic,” but to be Luke Skywalker to wrap his rather successful career would be interesting to see.

            

Leo speaks well, he’s done super-dramatic roles and no one hates watching him. That’s the last thing Leo needs to do in his career is go from “Nobody hates me” to “Everyone loves me.”

            

A space opera (a genre within the science fiction genre) is something that Leo has never tried, and if he were to put on the all-black jump suit that Luke Skywalker wears in “Return of the Jedi” while wielding the classic green lightsaber, he would become loved.

            

Plus, if Disney goes with the storyline from the books based five years after “Return of the Jedi,” Luke Skywalker has a lightsaber duel with a clone of himself. How awesome would it be to see Leonardo DiCaprio battling Leonardo DiCaprio with lightsabers?

I don’t live under some guise where I believe this cast is actually possible. I don’t know the connections of Hollywood and who likes working with whom. But this cast is realistic, and the actors I chose fit the classic roles so well. “The Avengers 2” is set for a May 2015 release, and now we have the next “Star Wars” to look forward to. Unbelievable.

Let's Tell A Story About A Wizard, No Dorothys Allowed! - By Matty Jacobson

Matty Jacobson tried to find his Glinda crown from his
Halloween costume several years ago for this particular
mug shot. But, he gave up after going through the fourth
box of costumes & wigs. He did find this Bruno hair,
though. Matty owns, edits and contributes to
The Skewed Review.

THE SKEWED REVIEW | ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

I'm pretty sure I wasn't around when the first motion picture ever was conceived of, but I'm sure the conversation of those who dreamt the concept up went something like this:

Dreamer A: Dude, I love going to the theatre!


Dreamer B: Yo, me too, bro!


Dreamer A: Man, it's whack that I can't see that play they're doing on the other side of the country. It would be totally radical if we could see "MacBeth" here in Los Angeles.


Dreamer B: I know, bro! Wouldn't it be, like, the most awesomest if there was a way that we could see that play they're doing in New York here in Los Angeles?


Dreamer A: Holy crap, man, I just had the best idea!


Dreamer B: Whaaaaaa?


Dreamer A: Dude, you know how we, like, take pictures and stuff?


Dreamer B: Yeah?


Dreamer A: What if we took tons of pictures in a row of plays, then we could like, flip them really, really fast, and then people in Los Angeles could for "reels" see the play they're putting on in New York?!


Dreamer B: Why did you do air quotes around "reals?"


Dreamer A: Because it's spelled differently! 


Dreamer B: Why?


Dreamer A: I dont' know. I'm sure once we figure out this movie thing, the pun will make sense!


Dreamer B: What's a movie?

OK. Let's set aside the fact that when I typed the word "awesomest," my computer didn't underline it in red to indicate it was a word that didn't exist. Yes, it's unnerving. But we'll just have to look past that.

The point of this reenactment of the first conversation dealing with movies has to do with this trailer. Have a peeky-poo. (By the way, my MacBook thinks both "peeky" and "poo" are not words. Odd.)




Yes, this is the prequel to the story we know as "The Wonderful Wizard of Oz." Now, you're either thinking one of two things after watching this. You're either in the, "Sure, I'll see it" camp, or you're desperately waving your "WHAT THE F*%$!?? HOW DARE THEY MESS WITH THE ORIGINAL?!?!" flag.

Whoa. I totally thought it
was the other way around! 

Unfortunately, we live in a world where most people think "The Wizard of Oz" was a movie first. And also unfortunately, most of the world is highly misinformed that the original was a 1939 MGM film starring Judy Garland. Most people are wrong on both counts.

OK, I'll admit I'm not giving the public enough credit. I'm sure everyone knows that "The Wonderful Wizard of Oz" was a book written by L. Frank Baum that was published in 1899, and it starred an uneducated little girl, a scarecrow with oatmeal and pins in its head, a man who cut off his own arms, legs and head, a town made completely of china (the people, too!), a whole white city where people have sunglasses permanently locked to their faces to give them the impression that it's actually green, and a female cyclops with bees as pets.

Well, I will simply not accept
any rendition of "The Wizard
of Oz" where the Tin
Woodsman's legs aren't
jointed like a velociraptor's.

Actually, I'm surprised more people in 1939 didn't take issue with MGM screwing with the original plot so much. OR, I wonder if people in 1939 said, "WHAT THE F*%$!?? HOW DARE THEY MESS WITH THE ORIGINAL?!?!" and referred to the 1925 movie starring Dorothy Dwan?




I also wonder if the people in 1925 were pissed that anyone would mess with the original 1902 stage musical.

If you thought Dorothy
was sexy in 1939, check
out Anna Laughlin in
1902! Yowzah! 

I personally am intrigued by this new imagining of the "Wizard of Oz" stories. In fact, I wish the stories were revisited more often. However, a good portion of our population considers themselves to be such Dorothy purists that they poo-poo any attempts to retell the story unless it's a stage musical like "Wicked," or "The Wiz."

But that brings me to my point. If you've never seen a live-action play or musical, then you, my friend, have absolutely no culture outside of that rotting milk in your fridge. You truly are missing out. It's really a treat to see how different producers, directors, actors, choreographers, costume designers, and the myriad others who make up a live production create a different piece of art out of the same story.

And it's totally acceptable, too. I could go to New York City tomorrow to see a production of "Hairspray," and be totally entertained. I could then return to St. George and see the Tuacahn version and be equally entertained by two completely different products.

And by the way, you won't hear me complaining either time that the producers are scum for messing with the original John Waters movie.

Wow. John Travolta looks horrible. 

If you're familiar with my movie commentary, you'll know I'm an advocate for directors who want to retell a story. In fact, I love it when a director loves a story so much that he or she wants to tell it again. It's like an actor who loves "Romeo and Juliet" so much that she goes and auditions for the part.

Would I scowl and call her an unoriginal bitch for daring to take on the role that was originally portrayed by a drag queen in the Elizabethan era? Of course not. I would look and sound like a total idiot if I did so.

Yet, I see and hear so much criticism of people wanting to take on new angles to classic stories. Much of it is unfounded, too.

I'll revisit my criticism of the criticism of "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory," which was directed by Tim Burton. I can't count the times I heard people scoff at Burton's daring to remake the '70s film, "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory." Like I've pointed out many times before, Tim Burton never remade that movie. He adapted a new movie from the original book.

No, Tim. We're not calling you
crazy for making the movie.
We're calling you crazy because,
well, look at yourself. 

And why can't all movies be that way? Hell, if Burton had taken the script from the Gene Wilder version and put his own spin on it, what's so wrong with that?

So let's get back to "Oz: The Great and Powerful."

I've already seen chatter on the Internet about how this is a prequel to the 1939 film. Well, that's probably true considering that the trailer opens with James Franco in black & white--the same thing that set apart "The Wizard of Oz" as something even more spectacular in 1939. (Although, it wasn't the only movie to use the black & white-to-color trick.)

My biggest qualm with this tale is that it could really have been awesome if they made the book into a movie. However, the filmmakers know this would never work because too many people think it would be an affront to the very art of filmmaking. It would be like movie blasphemy to retell a classic retelling of a retelling of a retelling of a book. People would never get past the title to see it for what it was.

Tim Burton learned his lesson. I'm sure he would have loved to do his own version of the original "Alice in Wonderland," but instead, the movie we saw was a sequel to the story we all know. I've always wondered if that had anything to do with the scorn Burton received after he adapted "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" verbatim from Roald Dahl's book.

Hello, I'm Roald Dahl. Did
you know that I absolutely
hated the '70s bastardization
of my book, "Charlie and
the Chocolate Factory?"
It's true. Nobody cares, though.

I think he and Disney realized that people are just too stupid to know that two good pieces of interpretations can exist in the same world and be wonderful for different reasons.

Oh, look! "Oz: The Great and Powerful" is produced by none other than Disney.

It's OK, Dorothy. Disney didn't
stick to my story, either. But at
least they made bank with the 3D! 

I will applaud the next director who stands up and is willing to take a chance to tell the "Oz" stories without having to result to, "what happened before Dorothy came?" And I will applaud even louder for the public who is willing to let someone who was always inspired by a story to tell the story in his or her own way without ostracizing that person. But, sadly, I think we're all too eager to grab pitchforks rather than actually give a retelling of a story a chance.